Day 113: Just a drawing

This is one of the less offensive drawings I made recently...After some soul searching I came to conclusion I needed to make drawings that are closer to my heart, using symbols closer to me. Since I was a child the story of white stag has been a major feature in my psyche. The story is of a group of kids who hear about the elusive white stag. At the same time they find a fawn, kids being kids they believe their fawn is going to turn into the mythical white stag. The story is of innocence, magic and reality, or at least that is what it means to me. Wolves are creatures that once existed in the area but now are long gone, all that is left are ware wolves, horrible, vicious people caring for nothing and no one but themselves. So the white stag has no other choice then to keep running. 

Day 112: Zentangle

My first zentangle ever. I didn't even know what that was until I met Yvonne Kettner who draws one zentangle ever day. Check it out here: http://365freestylezentangles.blogspot.co.uk/
Mine is not that good and I did follow a tutorial on youtube but I think I will be drawing more of those. It's fun, give it a go!

Day 111: Sewing and un-sewing

I made a lot of part yesterday and then I made some more and thought I will put this together and the I realised that the head was wrong so there was nothing else to do but undo it...then I got fed up and went to watch telly instead.
And that's sewing in a nutshell. More time is spent un-doing, patching and turning things right way out just to find another hole...then actually sewing. Time consuming and nerve grating but I will have another go tomorrow and hopefully make that head right:)

Day 110: A whole lot of parts

After several hours of sewing, patching, re-sewing and turning, I have a whole lot of little you parts and you will have to come back to see what they will become:)

Day 109: Queen portrait number 2

This is the under painting for the second portrait in my Queen series. The first one is finished and you can see it here: http://365artydays.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/day-94-bit-more-work-on-oil-painting.html

I got this book on old master's painting techniques that I am following. First portrait was done in following Titian, this one is Caravaggio and the third one will be Vermeer. Although they might end up looking all the same :)
 I had a long talk with my very wise husband yesterday about my art and all. He said basically that I am in the middle, on one hand I can paint very well as long as I am detached from the subject, like in these portraits but then when I make something personal it becomes just a hash like the painting yesterday.

So basically I need to find a way to marry the two. Instead of using symbolism that I think other people will understand, I need to find the ones I believe in and then paint that using some of my technical skills.

Well that's the theory...

Day 108: One step forward, three steps back

 

This is what happens when attempts are half-hearted and fittingly it is on a heart theme I made this horrible painting. I'm going to paint it over tomorrow but I wanted to share it here in order to remember what not to do in the future. I feel a lot from the heart and really wanted to capture something from it for these theme but I didn't commit to it. This image is like something I would have painted two years ago in it's style and technique, it's neither here or there. And this, in a nutshell, is my problem.

I feel things, then I am too afraid to commit to that feeling because mainly I don't want to offend anyone, especially my family and out comes this cliche-like rubbish..

My other problem is that I have put a lot of effort in painting and drawing technique over the past three years but can't seem to be able to marry those to my expression from the heart which, again, is problematic..and I think to much.

Day 107: Another doglet

Another little doglet, this time with some pictures of process and some tips. 

1. Use a sponge to jab your toy on. It's easier to shape and you don't jab your fingers.  

2. For little things like ears and tail, take a piece of felt and thenn prefelt it a bit on the sponge, make sure you turn it and keep it wide, you don't want a ball. If you felt it to tightly, it will not stick on to the body. 

After you attach it to the body as well as you can take another thin piece and wrap it around that ear/tail and use it as 'glue' and also to shape your ear/tail. You might find that a part of the body sinks in if you stab too much on same place. Just take another piece of felt and add it but keep the piece thin and wide and use layers, don't bunch it up on same spot.

3.After I felted my doglet enough I used scissors to shape it's head a bit. Don't know if you are supposed to do that but it might help. Also I can imagine the quality of fleece used helps, mine is not great but it works. Hope you find this useful. I am no expert, this is my 3rd felted toy but if you wan't to ask any questions please do. 

Day 106: Cute doglet

After x amount jabs in the finger, I seem to be getting an idea of how to so this. Quite happy with this  little chap, I am making one a day at the moment. Besides the repeated jabs in the finger, it's not that hard.

Day 105: Ellen's Daily Heart

On Sunday's, we 365ers pay tribute to one of our members. This week is Ellen Davies Petti and her lovely blog: http://www.ellensdailyheart.blogspot.co.uk/
This is my contribution, I actually started a whole painting but it's wet and the glare is terrible so I didn't photograph it. It's coming...

Day 104: Doglet 2

This is how far I managed today, it's one of those day, no matter how much effort I put in it's not going anywhere :( 

There is a new day tomorrow..

Day 103: Doglet

My first ever needle felted doll. I wanted to try out this technique for quite a while and finally got there. It's a bit rough, I ran out of chosen felt color so I couldn't make a smooth coat. The color choice was not brilliant either, it's fuschia with purple but it doesn't translate that well, I'll try to take another picture tomorrow in daylight but as I have decided to make a few of these I might go with some subtle colors instead:) It's cute though..

Day 102: Angel-boy painting stage 2

My oil painting group is having a small selling exhibition on 22 June so as part of my small goals I aim to have enough art to join in in the sale. Apparently contemporary paintings and children playing on the beach are best sellers in that particular place, hrm, I will have to think about that.
Anyway, here is angel-boy stage 2.

Day 101: New beginnings

I started three (actually four but it's rubbish so I painted it over) new paintings. I decided I love painting most and want to explore that. The large one is going to be a contemporary-ish portrait, the small brown one is following Caravaggio's technique of painting and the blue one is exploring technique called 'ghosting' and it's fun:)
The sketch for the blue painting is on day 96.

FINALLY Day 100!!!

After a minor crisis and feeling a sorts of thing I decided to take the AA approach, one day at the time and continue with my blog. My aim is to try and relax with it and put on things I want to do rather then stressing about things I think I should do. So thank you all for kind words and support, it's nice to have friends.

To celebrate I decided to post my Krishna even though he is not finished, he needs some clothes and jewels so I will try and get that done this weekend so you can see him looking all glorious. This is my first male doll I made. I actually had a vague impression of wanting to make a yoga-doll and out came a Krishna. I really like him with his pink feet. My only worry is that blue will fade as I didn't follow the correct procedure of putting it on...

Anyway, happy 100th to me and all those creative souls that have broken that 100 :)

Day 99: Coffe-drinking, chocolate-eating, dragonvale-playing soulsearch

This Sunday we were supposed to make something together within 365ers-2012 group. The idea was to highlight a major inspiration in our life/work, this happened to occur at the same time as a I am having (yet another) one of my work/life lows. So instead of forcing and contriving something I thought of writing about where I stand at the moment and that might help me forward. At least I know there are people supporting me in my endeavours and they might have some wise words for me.

I am a trained anthropologist with a BA and a MA, I also have another BA in art, I speak 4 languages, I am about to finish a small qualification in joinery and me and my husband have started work with boat restoration. All this makes me feel very conflicted. My parents are pushing me into getting a 'proper' job with wages and career, my peers are all doing well in that department. I think my parent are getting hard questions by their peers who compete in who has the most successful child. My mother told me she would be so much happier if we owned our own house. We haven't found a place we want to live in so much it is wort buying a house. Mainly I want to be an artist.

Recently, thing I have tried have not worked out, my exhibition proposals have all been rejected. I seem to be able to make anything if I put my mind to it (hrm, maybe not pottery :) but I can't seem to be able to make any ways forward. My husband says that the problem is that my way of telling a story is very culture specific (balkan) in a anglo-sawxon world so there are interpretations problems. I don't know what to do about that. I also find it very hard to express my innermost emotions, mostly I want people to like me as I am extremely afraid of conflict (war refugee, what can you do). So I guess my art suffers, I feel I am making nonsense while time is passing. I also have an artistic temperament and are constantly doing something else as you can see from my very varied blog.

My husband, again, says, it takes time and patience to become a success but I only feel lost and have come to a point where I feel like quitting and taking up a job. I feel I can't make anything coherent and that I feel like I am a waste of space. How can you be so gifted and so useless at the same time?

To come back to the sunday's task, I have been racking my brain to come up with inspirations so here they are. I admire Francis Bacon and Frida Khalo for their courageous and fragile paintings, Cy Twombly for academic precision combined with artistic excellence. William Turner for landscapes with feelings, Jackson Pollock for expressiveness and force, Leonardo da Vinci for beauty, Caravaggio for drama, Schiele for fragility, van Gogh for colors, Alice Kettle for amazing textiles, Chris Berens for imagination, Rothko for peace, Frances Woodman for otherwordliness and there are so many more, each and one very special in their own way..Inspiration comes from such unexpected places, having a FB group has been something that has made me very happy and kept me inspired and most of the time I am happy and grateful for everything I have but sometimes I just feel lost, like I am supposed to do something with all of it and I am not getting the hint. The blog was supposed to help me to get more focused but as 100th day is looming I feel I am just running in circles.

So this has been a bit of a rant but I feel better for it:) My good friend Carolin advises to make small plans and stick to it, but all those have fallen through at the moment so I guess I have to get myself up on that horse again...I better go and make something..

Day 98: More bags

I have a much tidier knitting bag now :) Super-pleased!

Day 97: Simple drawstring bag

 No more plastic bags for my knitting! I got lost in plastic bag hell for a bit there, they are so convenient and everywhere that it is so easy to forget we used to have fabric bags. Since I have three different knitting projects at the go and lots of yarn knocking about I decided to tidy it up a bit and made some simple and quick drawstring bags. Here is how: http://www.purlbee.com/easy-drawstring-bag/2009/3/16/easy-drawstring-bag.html

Day 96: Angel Boy

Day 95: I didn't make this..

I made something else and got this in a reward from my friend Rebecca Borowski. Check out her blog of love: http://rebecca-365daysoflove.blogspot.co.uk/

Day 94: A bit more work on oil painting

Just showing some progress on my little oil painting. Oils are completely new medium to me but I am enjoying it very much. This is actually taken from a fashion photograph, I really liked the ruffles which is why I chose to paint it. I have another two same size canvases and another two photos so it will be a little QUEEN series. 

Day 93: Angry Dog

I haven't been very happy with my work lately and it's time for change of direction. More about it coming soon...

Day 92: Fox and rabbit - best friends

This story is written as response to Yasna C. Provine's 365 blog from which we are taking inspiration this Sunday. Yasna writes beautiful poetry and combines it with equally beautiful images but as I am no poet, a story will have to do :) Check her blog out here: http://word-e-bird-e.blogspot.co.uk/

One day rabbit said to the fox: I am so lonely, I have no friends at all!

The fox looked at him and said: But what about me, I am your friend.

Yes, rabbit said, but you are weird, you are all red and toothy and you eat rabbits. I want friends that are more like me. I am going to go and find some real friends.

The fox was deeply hurt while she was watching, what she thought her best friend, disregard their friendship and go in search for other, better friends. She went home to her lair and cried herself to sleep.

Meanwhile, the rabbit was in pursuit of other ‘real’ friends. First he found a squirrel and asked her if she wanted to be his friend. Yes, squirrel said, yes, I will be your best friend. Now, see that house over there, they have the most delicious nuts there and because you are my best friend, you should get over there and get me some. Ok, said rabbit, and hopped away. Alas, what squirrel didn’t tell was that there was a big, ferocious dog, guarding that house. He sent rabbit running head over heels and almost bit his tail off. Rabbit decided that the squirrel was not his best friend and went looking for someone else.

Next, he found a hedgehog and asked him if he wanted to be rabbit’s best friend. Yes, hedgehog said, that will be fun. Let me show you what we, hedgehogs, do when we are having fun. First, you get all your spikes out and curl into a ball. Then you smash real hard into each other and wrestle.

But, cried rabbit, I have no spikes, I am furry. Never mind, shouted hedgehog as he curled up into a ball and crashed into the rabbit. We can play anyway!

Ouch, ouch, ouch!!! That really hurts, cried rabbit. Never mind, don’t be such a coward, we hedgehogs never complain, we just get on with it.

But I am no hedgehog, I have no spikes, cried rabbit, big tears welling up in his eyes. Well, you are no real hedgehog, and I can’t be your best friend then. Get lost, stop wasting my time! Shouted hedgehog angrily as he curled back up into a ball and went for the rabbit. Rabbit run for all he was worth. When he finished running and sobbing, he went to find another best friend.

Next, he saw a beautiful hare preening his long ears in the sunshine. The hare, he thought, looks like me. Maybe he will be my best friend. Do you think I am beautiful, asked hare. Yes, replied rabbit, very much.

Then, I suppose you could be my best friend, answered hare. Do you think my fur is pretty, prettier then yours, asked hare again. Yes, replied rabbit, much prettier.

Now, said hare, I will show you how high I can jump, said hare and leaped into the air. Wonderful, cried rabbit, I can leap too.

Yes, yes, but look at me leap and summersault, shouted hare, and promptly carried on with acrobatics. Rabbit only managed to hop a bit while the hare was leaping and making all sorts of wonderful tricks. He soon got very tired. Then the hare said: I will show you how fast I can run and how fine my stride is. With that he set off. Little rabbit was running as fast as his short, little legs could carry him, trying to keep up. The hare waited for him once, twice and then told him sharply to keep up. But, replied rabbit, I can’t, my legs are much shorter. Yes, yes, I have wonderful legs, said hare, but also I am very determined and brave, once I have determined to achieve a goal there is no stopping me.

While the hare was talking, a great shadow showed up on the grass. Rabbit crept closer to the ground and whispered: be still, there is danger. But the hare was so busy talking about himself and also decided to illustrate his great abilities by taking yet another great leap into the air. At that point, the shadow swooped down and grabbed the hare in mid air with great, sharp talons. For the shadow was an eagle and hare was now his dinner. The eagle promptly started tearing into the hare. Rabbit was still glued to the floor, shaking and crying. Eagle, between mouthfuls, looked at him and asked: what’s wrong, I am not planning on eating you today.

I am so lonely, replied rabbit, I have no best friend and now you are having my new best friend for dinner.

That fool, asked eagle, pecking at the hare. I heard his foolishness all the way to my great eagle’s nest. So, asked eagle, who is there you talk to most often? The fox, replied rabbit.

Who is there for you to laugh with? The fox, replied rabbit..

Who is there when you are sad, or in pain? The fox, replied rabbit.

Who doesn’t eat you although it is in her nature to do so? The fox, replied rabbit, his ears perking up.

So why isn’t the fox your best friend?

Because she is weird, all red and toothy, replied rabbit, but she doesn’t trick me, beat me or use me as a facility. The fox is my best friend, shouted rabbit, and set off back to foxes lair.

Eagle looked after him, murmured ‘fool’, under his breath and turned his attention back to what was left of the vain hare.

Rabbit run all the way to foxes, stopping only briefly to dig up a special carrot he has been saving to grow really large and juicy. The fox was still sad.

Fox, fox, shouted rabbit, forgive me for I have been so foolish. You are the best friend one can have. I think you are clever, kind and beautiful.  Not at all weird, or toothy. On this, fox opened one eye.

Also, I brought you my best carrot, I missed you so much and you will always be my best friend.

On this, fox opened the other eye and smiled because she knew her best friend rabbit well and she knew he would be back.

Thank you, said fox, I will put the carrot on this special place in my lair, for later. I am happy to be your best friend. Now, tell me what happened. And the rabbit told her all about his adventures that day and they had a good laugh about it.

Day 91: Bird People

Day 90: Bird Glider

Back to normality and completely exhausted. I think we will be having a very quiet easter weekend. This is all I managed today, it's almost as bad as paper planes but not quite...I'm feeling a bit fed up and it reflects on my work. I am a bit stuck in all sorts of ways and need to make some decisions. It feel like nothing is working out at the moment me. So not in a good place...Maybe a bird will help to lift our spirits...

Day 89: A scrap of meringue and some treasure hunt

As announced I did make some meringue, three plate sized pieces with chocolate sauce and apparently it was so delicious it was all gone before I managed to photograph it :) Well, that is at is should be.

Otherwise we managed to organise and play a easter treasure hunt. Me and grandad dressed up in some of our easter :) clothes. Grandad had this long tai chi robe made up in china while I had a green chinese shirt with purple pants and a hat I found in charity shop. The event started when we descended the stairs drumming on a drum and ringing a bell. Kids run to see what that was and then we started. There were eight clues, in and out of the house. With each clue there was a small treasure and that led to...

a LARGE treasure, aka a pinata that we suspended on the clothes rack. Kids weren't really hitting it hard enough to break so daddy was very happy to help out..We really stuffed it with chocolate so when it burst it was like a shower of colorful sweets to a huge delight of everyone around. After we gathered the treasure, we shared it out between each other with kids getting the lion share of it. Needles to say, they didn't eat anything else that day...

Day 88: Coconut, raspberries and some fashion!

I made a cake baking disaster the other day: it is called orange and almond cake. It wasn't bad just not very nice. So I have redeemed myself by baking a eat-your-fingers delicious raspberry and coconut slice. It helps I made my own raspberry jam from fresh raspberries. So proud :)

Here is a link to recipe: http://www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/baking/biscuits/coconut-slice-recipe

I have my work cut out for tomorrow though: I am attempting a meringue and creme patisserie chocolat cake. We have a big dinner and my husband is making shoulder of lamb stuffed with saffron rice so I decided to match him with a dessert. But, that's tomorrow..

Otherwise, we had some time to play dress-up. Kids decided to dive into some scarfs, hats and gloves and I keep a stash of old jewellery for my dolls. William insisted on purple and sparkles and we had several variations on that theme until he was happy with his look. Here he is, a right little pirate:

Below are pictures of Sophie - very rock chic...,

Grace: english country style ..

And finally all of us making a big mess. We had so much fun!

Day 87: Start on a knitted scarf

It's bit mad over here at the moment but I managed to steal some time away and make a start on a scarf. This is a first item I am making has this kind of pattern in it. There are a lot of yon's but it seems ok. 

I also like this picture a lot. I found the shot by a fluke. Looking for some nice background I saw these pencils. My step-grandson is sharpening all my pencils for me, hence they are all out.  He calls it his 'work'. And if I touch his 'work', he is going to be very cross with me indeed :) I better go and put everything back. 

Day 86: Easter-y decorations

I wish I truly was a domestic goddess who could whip up some home made fabulous easter decorations. What I managed is to hand paint some bunting images (photo1) and that took me 2 hours! There are like ten or so of them but still..and that was supposed to be fun for kids. So I quickly gave up any ambitions regards to home mede decorations and put up the rest of shop bought items. 

Now, we don't celebrate easter normally but when I was a kid it was a big celebration and a lot of fun and it happens so that my step-grandkids are coming so we have some fun planned- enter pinata.

It sort of doesn't really go with easter theme, I think it's more for olympics being all blue, white and red  but it was too good of an opportunity to miss.

So there will be a treasure hunt with some hidden treasures and clues in the garden. Then the hunt will go back into the house and backout in the garden where pinata is going to appear and hopefully there will be a shower of easter eggs:) Kids are 5 and 3 so we really hope they will enjoy it. I will let you know. 

They arrive this afternoon and the showdown is on thursday... 

Day 85: Orange Felt Flower

As it is sunday today, our 365 Facebook group is making something inspired by another members blog. this sunday we were all inspired by David Hoffman who's blog you can find here: http://justdavecreations.blogspot.com/ 

dave works with colors and at the moment that color is orange, so we all made something with orange or 'orange' :). Check it out: https://www.facebook.com/groups/292386624157701/